WARNING! Self indulgent post

Where are we?
I am not really sure what to do at the moment. I am not a person who sits paralysed in situations that I don't enjoy, but here I am a little stuck. The problem is that it appears I need to earn a reasonable living so that we can continue to live in the manner to which we have become accustomed. However, it is becoming increasingly apparent that my current job is not conducive to a happy family existence. Since September I have been travelling a lot and have (some may say unusually) been working very hard. The result is that I rely too much on MK to look after me and Jeremy and when I am home, I have been tired and not helpful enough. I am determined not to be an absent father, but I can see that it is happening already. With MK back at work, travelling and working are becoming rather too much for us to deal with happily. To me, just dealing with it is not enough, life needs to include at least a soupcon of happiness.

So what to do about it?

Option 1 – Take a break
I could happily give up working tomorrow and have been encouraged to do so, it is amazing how supportive MK can be regardless of the impact on herself, and she will always encourage me to do what will make me happy. I would love some time to enjoy Jeremy and return to a healthier lifestyle, but I think the financial consequences are too great at the moment so I think that option is out for the time being.

Option 2 – Sit it out and wait for the PhD
Having begun the journey towards this utopian academic existence, it has turned out to be a frustratingly slow process that I hope will be completed within the next 6 months, in the meantime, I am somewhat in limbo. With a minimum of 2 months notice to work out, it could easily be another 8 months before that gets off the ground and that is a long time to be living like this.

Option 3 – Get another job
I have a 2 month notice period and in Denmark this is always from the end of the month so the earliest I can be free is the beginning of February. Given the job market in Copenhagen at the moment, I know that I can get another job and probably an interesting one, but do I really want to start a new job? What I really want is the PhD and it's not really very fair to start a new job and then leave after a couple of months.

So there is the dilemma. I think I will tough it out with the current job for a while in the hope that it calms down with the travelling. As soon as it looks like the funding is on its way for the PhD I will be out like a shot. Perhaps it makes sense to wait until the spring anyway; it's more fun to be out of work when the sun is shining.

I wrote this to try and explain how lucky I am to have such a wonderful supportive wife and that I don't want to take her for granted. Perhaps it is telling that in the end I have written almost entirely about myself. She is the one who is spending around 3 hours each day in the car getting to work and back and then looking after Jeremy whilst I am off on my travels; at this particular moment I am sitting on a train just outside Hamburg looking forward to another night in a hotel whilst she will be awoken every couple of hours by the little man. I can't really believe it, but Jeremy hasn't slept through the night since we went to the US in August…

Conclusion
I guess that means do nothing for now, but be ready to pounce as soon as an opportunity comes along. In the meantime, don't take the good bits for granted (in other words, buy flowers more often!)